Crazy Wisdom!

Dear Drummers

Do not come to this Friday’s drum if you are not ready to laugh until you weep, if you are not ready to have the lemon juice wrung out of that old rag of your ego, if you are not ready to put your finger to your lips and say “brb-brb-brb-brb-brb.  Do Not Come. (First Universalist Church, 34th and Dupont, South Mpls, 7 PM).

If you don’t want to be turned upside down to have the loose change shaken out of you, stay home. In honor of April Fools, in honor of the ancient tradition of Crazy Wisdom, in honor of the trickster, the fool, and the village idiot, we drum. I swear to you, no one will escape intact. Don’t come if you want to stay the way you are.

Don’t come, I beg you, if you are invested in that frown. I beseech thee, oh gentle hearted, beautiful-souled worshiper of cosmic Love, dreamer of delicate lace, if you swoon with pleasure at the sound of your own moaning, go hide in the box with the old clothes.  If you show up, you will be eaten by a giant vulva. Yes you will.

Bring your pliers, loved ones, that throbbing tooth is going to get plucked out. Ah! The song of the crescent moon, at last!  Ahhhhhh….!

If you do come, try to bring a small paper bag that has room in it for a doggy turd. If you don’t remember, don’t worry, I’ll have some. Dress either sloppily or super-duper-seductively. But no perfume or Brut.  If this is your first time at our drum, you’ll likely never come back, so be ready to pay full price. If you’ve come to the drum for years, be ready, this you ain’t never experienced.

 I really need some folks to volunteer to bring some incredibly juicy fruit, washed and ready.  Ripe pears or oranges, or those grapes as luscious as Adonis’ testicles. I also really need two volunteers to help me with the bags. Email me.

 I’m telling you; please stay away if you’re not ready to take the Corvair off-road.

 Wheeeeeee.